


here comes a feeling you thought you'd forgotten

by Princex_N



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Brainweird, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, or an attempt at it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:56:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8964277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: He can't breathe. He can't think.
  
  Where the fuck is he.





	

**Author's Note:**

> do you ever think about how all that trauma fucks this boy up???  
> I do.

He's not expecting it, and that's the worst part. 

It has been so long. He was over this; he was settled now; he was doing  _okay_. 

 _This_ does not happen to someone who is okay. 

"Taako?" Someone asks, and Taako pushes back away from the table he had been sitting at. The chair makes a nasty screeching sound against the floor. He can barely hear it. 

Where the fuck is he. 

No. He knows where he is. He's at the Bureau, in his apartment. But that's wrong. That's not right. Something is wrong. 

Where the fuck is he. 

"Are you alright?" His mouth tastes like garlic. No, it doesn't. But he can smell it. What the hell. "Hey, look at me. What's going on?" 

They were eating. They're eating. They shouldn't be. Did he make the food? Did he eat some of it? His mouth tastes like he'd been eating. It shouldn't. He resits the urge to shove his fingers down his throat. But, he should. 

What is going on. 

There are people eating. 

"Throw it up," he commands them. His hands hang uncertainly by his chest. He has to do something. He has to help them. He can't think straight. 

They look at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?" one of them asks. 

He covers his face with his hands and digs his fingers into his hair and  _pulls_. "I don't know," he gasps out, "I don't know." 

He can't breathe. He can't think. 

Where the fuck is he. 

It smells like garlic, but it doesn't, but it should. He was there; no one knew what was wrong, it happened so slow, but Taako saw it all and it was  _him_ , it was his fault. They were sick, they were bleeding, they were suffocating. 

He'd run. He ran, but he's still there.  ???  He's still there? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He can't breathe. He can't think. 

"Alright, holy shit," someone swears. Had they eaten? Does it matter?

"Where am I?" he gasps. His stomach churns sickeningly. 

"Dude, this isn't funny." 

Had he been joking? He doesn't know. _Fuck_. He doesn't know anything. 

 _'This isn't real,'_ he tells himself, but can't remember what he was referring to, what he was thinking about. His chest hurts. 

There are hands on his shoulders, big, scarred. He doesn't recognize them. There are hands attached to himself. He doesn't recognize those either. 

"Hey, hey, look at me," someone says. He looks. He doesn't want to look at the hands that aren't his any more. "Hey, what's going on?" 

"What  _is_ going on?" He doesn't know. Why would they assume that he would? 

He was supposed to be  _over_ this. 

He's wringing his hands so harshly that they might break, but he can't feet it at all. They aren't his. 

"Are you listening?" He doesn't remember. 

There are hands over his(?). He's pulled into something solid and warm. What the hell. They're saying something else, but he can't understand any of it. He can't find the words to ask to them to repeat themself. 

He doesn't know what's going on. He can't think, he can't breathe. But he's over this; he's fucking done. He's checking out. He buries his face in their chest and he clings and he waits waits waits for this bullshit fucking ride to be  _done with_. 

**Author's Note:**

> just to be clear; Magnus is the "someone/they" that Taako is referring to.  
> dissociation's a Bitch.  
> [my tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com)


End file.
